


Yo Ho and a Bottle of Rum

by Whedonista93



Series: Heart of the Ocean [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor, Why is the Rum Gone?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 03:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13379505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whedonista93/pseuds/Whedonista93
Summary: Stand alone follow up to Heart of the OceanAKADeadpool Meets Captain Jack Sparrow





	Yo Ho and a Bottle of Rum

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a goofy little follow up to Heart of the Ocean - you don't have to read that to get this.  
> The only thing you need to know is that the Noira (aka Pearl) mentioned in this fic is an OC -Will and Elizabeth's daughter.

“ _Wilssoooonnnn_!!!” Barton’s voice rang through the common room.

“What?! I am not a fucking volleyball” Wade yelled back.

“Booze run, man!”

“Stark’s fucking tower. There is no way we're out of booze!”

“No. But we're out of Nat’s favorite vodka and I need the cheap rum that Tony fucking Stark refuses to buy because he’s Tony fucking Stark even though it makes the best daiquiris.” Darcy pouted up at him.

“Double D, why the fuck didn't you just ask in the first place? I wouldn't have bitched about it that way.”

Darcy grinned widely and shrugged. “You're the only one other than Thor and Steve who’s still sober. Janey is a lightweight. Noira and Buck got into the Asgardian shit, and you know those of the big, blonde and beautiful variety aren't gonna pretend to trust us with their drunken loved ones.”

“Didn't need the speil, Lewis. I was going anyway just ‘cause you asked.”

Darcy squealed and planted a smacking kiss on the cheek of his mask.

 

“Why is the rum gone?” a dreadlocked man demanded of the shop clerk.

Wade panicked. “What the fuck do mean the rum is gone?”

The clerk side eyed them both before pointedly looking toward the full shelf of rum.

Wade glanced at it then advanced on the clerk. “Nope. Not the kind I need.”

“Same problem, mate.” the accented voice at his side commented.

Wade shifted his gaze. “I know you. No. Wait. I don't know you. The author knows you, though!”

“It's Jack, mate.”

“Oooh. Captain, right?”

Jack started. “Ooh, I think we're gonna get on just fine.”

“I'm Wade. The author is worried we’re gonna burn down part of the city by the time tonight is over. Or at least part of the port.”

“ _Riiiiight_ …. Rum.”

“Rum! Where the fuck is the Captain Morgan shit?”

The clerk shrugged. “Late shipment. Seriously,  dudes… why are you so set on the cheap shit? Higher shelf is marked down to make up for it.”

Jack waved dismissively. “I own that  Plantation one… ‘least I think. Used to for sure. Oughta ask Lizzie if I still do…”

The clerk looked on in mild disbelief.

Jack shook off his side track. “Point is, lad, me niece wants the cheap shit, she gets the cheap shit. Savvy?”

“Yeah!” Wade agreed. “And Darce too!”

“Aye! And Darce too!” Jack cheered.

“Where’s the closest liquor store?”

“You're standing in it.” the clerk drawled out.

Wade whipped a katana off his back and let it stop just next to the clerk's neck. “Listen here you smartass punk motherfucker…”

 

“What kind of motherfucking conspiracy is this?” Wade screamed as they left the fourth store with no Captain Morgan.

“Why is the rum gone?” Jack commiserated.

Wade was full on pouting. “Darce is gonna be so disappointed!”

“Yeah, well, Pearl is gonna kill me. So you're the better off of us, mate.”

“Have you _seen_ Darcy with those baby blues all sad and shit? No. You haven't.  And that’s just not…. Did you say Pearl? That’s what Noira said her uncle calls her! _Oooh_ you are _that_ Jack! Noira told me we weren't allowed to meet. Says we'd cause too much trouble.”

Jack shrugged. “Never did like doing as I was told.”

 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

[Did _we_ really just ask that?]

{How fucking nuts is this guy?}

[I like him.]

{You would, you cock sucker.}

[Think he washes it? I mean… Noira _did_ say he's like a legit old school pirate. They didn't bathe much.]

{Who the fuck cares?! We're not sucking anyone's cock!}

[Aren't  we supposed to be doing something?]

{... Right.}

“Right.”

“”Right,” what, lad? And who the bloody hell cares if it's a good idea? Pearl shouldn't ‘ave sent us on a fools bloody errand if she wanted us to behave.”

  
“Wade! Jack! All you had to do was get a bottle of cheap ass rum! How in the bloody Locker did ye manage _this_?!” Noira gestured at the flaming yachts behind her.


End file.
